How do you do it? How do you feel authentically without hurting others? I find it incredibly difficult.
A friend of mine told me, well it doesn’t have to be like that, you can just stop telling yourself that this is the way it will go. When she said that I was like yes omg It’s just cause I am going through a tough time now that I hurt some people around me. But now that I’m letting the experiences sink in more I am starting to question that.
I can feel it you know, I can feel the resistance that I have towards expressing certain feelings, cause either consciously or unconsciously, I know it will hurt the other person. To give more clarity, hurt could express itself in discomfort, uneasiness, confusement… I have felt so much discomfort the past year that I don’t wish that on anyone else, that I’d do anything in my power to avoid making others uncomfortable, which I feel creates just about the opposite result. I feel often the discomfort comes from sharing my feelings late, from waiting so long and then letting it out when the energy has build up. If I’d just share my emotion the moment I feel it, it would be way more chill , it would be in tune with what’s happening here in this moment. It would be way more beneficial, way more grounded. To express fully in all moments.
I am so afraid of confrontation that I don’t share anything that I feel, and through that I limit the growth of me and of the people around me. Cause in the end you have got to live with people, you got to love with people. And when you keep expressing what is, what plays what’s real, then you’ll be able to match your energies, your dynamics better. And it’ll come naturally.
The whole energetic state, dynamics, patterns. I used to believe that I’d find them in my head (god I think I had to relearn this lesson 10 times), now I understand I get real, I get honest and through that I, we learn. Through that these dynamics naturally merge into a state of harmony, a state of understanding, a state of balance and a state of love.
So be you, be free. And do it long enough and you’ll see, the right people will come and the wrong people (for you) will go. And eventually, life will just start flowing, like you always imagined in your head.
I’m not saying it won’t hurt, even if you communicate whatever you feel immediately. You’ll still collide, you’ll still fight. You’ll feel pain, you’ll cry, you might even believe you won’t ever get through it. But at least you’re giving yourself the opportunity to grow, to heal, to be honest, to be you, in all aspects of you. And in this moment, I will always choose this over running away, over looking the other way.
So, what will you choose?
Love, Atlas
Leave a Reply